The good guy

Kevin was taught well at home from young. Everything was fine and it even felt more fine when he met a girl in high school. He was so much in love with the girl and he was even happier to find the girl in love with him too. Kevin was from a poor family, thus he could not afford to give nice presents to the girl, thus they always give each other simple presents and things they could make themselves. And he even worked part-time for her birthday present. They were happy with each other and enjoyed doing simple things together. Like the fairy tales he read in book, he thinks that he will marry this girl.

He loved this girl so much. It all went well until one day he feels the girl has acted on him coldly. He tries to talk to her and convince himself its all right, maybe that will last for few moments more. But Kevin was wrong, it all became a horror tale when he got to know the girl was with another guy. Kevin struggled with anger, denial and confusion all together. He was shattered.

The girl told Kevin, she is sorry, that Kevin wasn't the guy suitable for her and she wasn't for him. But she didn't tell Kevin that the guy was a really a rich and handsome guy, it felt so good being with him, he could give anything, and introduced a new world to her. She was impressed and excited and could experience alot of things when she was with him. She could be proud and arrogant and she was with him.

She really didn't tell Kevin a lot of things. She actually felt bad for Kevin, but her family always ask her to find a rich and good guy, and it felt good and new being with the new guy. She convinced herself that Kevin is a strong guy and he would find a girl real soon, and like what her family said, don't be too serious in a relationship at this age, so all she wanted was to feel good and not get hurt right? She had to protect herself. So why not think for herself and be with someone she felt good with? Maybe Kevin wasn't really serious in this relationship as he seems to, and maybe was bad guy after all.

In Kevin's world now, its all different, he doesn't feel alive anymore. Everything was meaningless at this point. He feels he was stupid, really stupid. All this while, everything is a lie. There isn't love anymore in Kevin's world. Love is a business to him, its about what you can give, even with friends. In his mind, maybe his family wants him to be good because its for their names' sake. Kevin begins to protect himself from everyone, thus being selfish and wants to find money, no matter what it takes. " All this time, I have been wrong, money was the answer, if I have money, I have it all, even the so-called love, " thinks Kevin.

Life is a movie

I see fake faces and fake conversations. I see through all of them. I dunno that's bad or good, sometimes i just ignore it, hoping that i'm wrong. But I have to accept the world is like this. People come to you, talk to you or spend time with you for a variety of reasons. Most the time, they just want something of out you, as we grow older and older we find this more real. Life is like a stage full of puppets making you believe something or make you feel good, then you pay the price happily with a smile, hopefully..

Temptations to distractions

Alot of times, we want to change, solve problems and things like that, but as we live day to day, we tend to just forget it, 'just chill'. When will this stop?We are distracted by everyday living, work,study,hang out,sports, outings, movies, music that make us feel better, or does it? Or are we just wasting time making ourselves comfortable and die with unresolved problems? Does everbody's lives end like that?

What do we want?

Is this what are we looking for in our lives? Super cars, monster homes, money, sex, power, and so on.. Do I think that I will be happy having all of them? At the moment, maybe yes, when I have the lousiest home, car or whatever. But does it mean life will be complete when i get there? And will it not be if I dun have them?

Everyday, we face media, friends, family to tell us that, money is everything, in order to have a happy and successful lives. Even if u can say you don't think so, but inside, the information is stucked in your head and every cell of your body. Some even sacrifice love, friends and family or evenblood to get there. Is it worth it?



Life makes you want even more.. If you want a home, maybe someone else wants a field of homes.. see the faces of the rich men, especially when he's alone.. even most of them do not have real friends, or even family.. for all the hard work, blood and sacrifice, if its really worth it, it will only come down to enjoyment of probably few years? Can we find something to enjoy eternally? New phone maybe one week occasionally? New home longer? Do we ever count how long things can make us satisfied? Figuratively speaking, we are like in a prison, slaves to money or materialism, addicted to wanting even more, a drug that human took a long time ago, which lasts forever, and we need extraordinary rehabilitation in a newborn planet.

'Life is about wanting no more'



Will it end?

A rainy gloomy day

Why do I wake up reluctantly to live another day? Does it mean I'm scared to face another day or am I more happy in the nothingness in sleep? Why does everything feels so bad sometimes, even when things are so right and when you really should be happy?

It just feels empty, this world, I dun see any more colours. As years start to pass by, the colours start to fade, and the dark reality and ugly truth starts to reveal itself.. Its skin that had peeled off was so real and perfect in human eyes.. it really was so real..

Welcome..

"A note to all : This blog is NOT a self-achievement, self-gratification, self-marketing or advertisement or trading blog etc.. Most importantly, IT IS NOT A HAPPY BLOG to see. So if you're feeling happy or want to feel happy (as we all do), please ignore all this now.."

This is about what most of humans/live/things(at least all) run from, or try to run from, bad happenings/incidents, suffering or what i regard and call them, as negativity. They may be from micro to macro, from dust to universe, but at least most of them are negative. What this is all about is not to create more negativity, but to review and research on it, learn from it and of course laugh about them and feel lucky (this is what we like), or be appreciative with what we have(a better word). The point is, hopefully..

' Make the best out of negativity, and possibly, make negativity to positivity '

You will know what this means later on..

P.S Don't cut yourself and tell everyone this blog teaches me to enjoy pain. We haven't lost our minds and we are smart since we can still read this. I declare I'm not gothic/witch/occult or things like that. I'm just a human like you, finding truths and of course, happiness or what i regard as positivity.

All the following contents may contain real names or fake names of people, may revolve lives( or deaths) around me as the blogger or may not. The word 'I' or 'we' may mean myself or may not, no pointings allowed, just for mere representation. Do not ask about connections. Do not comment about my english too, as I am making the best out of the negativity of my poor english. Other than these, I am always open to comments and questions. Thank you for reading and understanding.